My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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