i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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