So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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