Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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