I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
