great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
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