Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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