Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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