Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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