The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
