You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
