I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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