Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
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You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
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