yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Randomize
