i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
True strength comes from lack of pants
Randomize
