I must be too annoying 4 u.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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