i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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