i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
