Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
