oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
