My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
handjob tips. give me some.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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