If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Are we in a gay sports bar?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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