I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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