That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
one might say we're banned from that church
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
