Me. At least after what I've been through.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
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