If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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