I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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