before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
