Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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