paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
