Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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