i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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