My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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