"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
