so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Randomize
