She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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