Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Randomize
