Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
