I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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