he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
