how can u be prego again
please come you make the beer taste better
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
