Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
