I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
