This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize