sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
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