you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
We had to coat check the pizza.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
