I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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