saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
high people should be assigned attendants
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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