We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
