I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
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shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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