I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
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