You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
How external is "for external use only"?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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