Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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