I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
