Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
