Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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