I didn't shave. On purpose
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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