your parents love me but you hate me
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
