Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
