Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
